Tag Archives: men

Heartbreak Warfare

When I signed in last night, I was greeted with “Love is a losing battle”. When pressed to whom she was battling, She replied “men”. When pressed she replied “the ones that I talk to”.

Love isn’t easy, but it sure as hell ain’t a losing battle until someone admits defeat. One of my personal mantras has always been “don’t quit until it’s hopeless”.

A good relationship is like a good house. Without a strong foundation, it will fall, without a comfortable midsection, it won’t stay comfortable to be in, and without a good insulation, you won’t be protected from the outside. I’m speaking metaphorically of course, but really. A relationship takes time and effort to build and maintain. I believe everyone who dates should be at a point in the relationship where outside forces have no effect on the relationship!

I’m someone who made a mistake earlier. I was a cheater, and I stopped. Because I loved the girl I was with. Anything is possible if your will is strong enough. That is true, at least relationship wise.

One thing I found out, is you cannot change anyone but yourself. You have the power to change anything, by changing yourself. I’m not saying act a certain way to get something or someone, but if there is a bad habit preventing you from being happy, change it! Smoker? Quit! Alcoholic? Pour the booze out! Chronically late? Get yourself a planner and leave earlier! It is all how badly you want to change.

Mind over matter. If your mind is strong enough, matter won’t matter.

You’ve seen people survive years past what doctors say is possible, why? They will tell you, will power. If you truly want something with all your heart, your willpower will help you make it happen. Only when you believe something is impossible is it.

If you resign yourself to defeat, you will never win. Just IMHO.

Figured Something Out

I was talking with my best friend Steve on the way home today. He had to give me a ride due to Silvia’s condition at the moment…

We got to talking about women and we came to a realization. Women talk to their Friends about their relationships, if you’re dating a woman, they can’t talk to you about that, so they’ll talk to you about boring shit, you know how I know even they think it’s boring?

Even they can’t tell when we’re paying attention! Hey, quick tip, IF YOU FOUND IT BORING, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE’LL FIND IT INTERESTING?!

Women, all women, when they talk about their relationship, they’ll talk to someone not quite completely removed but close enough to the situation that they have an inkling of what’s going on… Because they want someone to agree with them!

No matter how much you think you know about someone else’s relationship, I’ll bet you a million dollars you don’t know as much as the people actually involved with the relationship! I don’t care if you’re best buds or girlfriends, you don’t know the whole story! Because no one ever tells the whole story!

I feel that if a woman wants to talk about their relationship, they should be able to talk about it with their better half! Seriously, if it’s affecting his or her life, she/he deserves to know what’s coming so they can act accordingly.

My ex dumped me without talking to me. She talked to her family, her friends, her dance friends, pretty much everyone but myself. I can’t change it, but it was something that made me sad.

If you’ve dated someone for more than a month, you should have the confidence to discuss your relationship with the one you’re dating. If it’s been more than a month, they deserve to know if you’ve kept them around.

Just my own personal opinions.

I must say!

For all my belly acheing about missing her… Single life is so much less stressful than a relationship!

No one calling at 10:30 and staying on the phone till they all asleep, no drama, no stressing over money for two people, no driving all over creation for rides, no more “life is like a museum; you can look but you can’t touch”!

I’m saving money, and I’m trying to find a car that will fit. Damn!

I can actually focus on shit! I’m making money at work, I’m working more hours and enjoying my offtime because I’m worrying less without a woman!

I can go after whoever I want… Man, if it wasn’t for the loneliness, and the void created when she left, I think I’d be 150%

I know I’m going to be alright. I made some money today and I’m in a good-ish mood.


My Personal Philosophies (And More)

Two women in my life. One shouldn’t be, one has taken the place of another that has been mentioned a fair while ago, think years here…

The ones who are in my life, I pay attention to, I help when they need it, and I try to keep myself available. See, if I wanted to date somebody I would be dating right now. It’s a girls fault I’m not dating, but it’s not because of how I feel about her, it’s about how I feel about women in general. At least once in life, a man will try his level best to be everything a woman wants him to be. More than likely, he will fail, but the woman may appreciate the effort and lower her standards.

However, women are not static creatures. Women are more like water, always changing, never deciding upon a still form as long as the world moves around them. Men, from what I’ve observed, are like the moon. We aren’t quite static, but we don’t like to deviate from the path of least resistance if it’s working for us. We forget what kind of an impact we have on women as well. Just as the moon changes the tides, so do men profoundly impact women, often in ways we don’t expect.

When you think about it, men and women are intertwined. We’re separate within the human race. We think completely differently. We act completely differently, and often we follow different rules. I’m not going to start in on gender roles here, because they’re boring and really irrelevant. A man or woman can be anything they want to. A cart-girl at a super market would be no more obscure than a man working in a clothing shop, or make-up parlour. Traditional roles don’t really apply to the newer generations like they used to, and yes, there is something to be said for nurture vs. nature, but still, all in all, wholly irrelevant here.

Women and men are different. We all know and accept it. As much as a feminist or chauvinist will tell you otherwise, women cannot live without men, just as men cannot live without women. Yes homosexuals and all. Bullshit. Regardless of who you love, you cannot procreate without the opposite gender’s involvment somewhere down the line, even discounting children, women and men, homo- or heterosexual need the opposite gender, because a different viewpoint is always refreshing. Whether you cry on your best friend’s shoulder, or the groin of a stranger, the opposite sex will always have a place in our lives…

Which is one of the main reasons, I cannot understand why men and women refuse to understand each other. Yes, we think differently, but getting on the same page isn’t difficult. I know several men, studs, nerds, friends, men, who would give their left nut to know how women think. To a man, a woman’s actions seem to happen without a sense of logic, and to a woman, a man’s actions seem to be devoid of emotion and passion. That’s true to an extent. Men try their very hardest when making a decision to take their emotions out of the equation, most notably because certain emotions, like stress or anger can cause unclear thinking for a man.

Personally, when I make a decision, I like to be calm. I hate to be rushed, because I hate stress. Stress causes me to weigh options differently. When stress is added to an equation, I worry about the fastest, not necessarily the best route. When I remove stress and calm down, I can think rationally. I can make value judgments based on their outcome. I have always been a “journey” oriented person, as apposed to a “destination” oriented person, someone who when starting a trip is always worried about getting to the end, and is constantly thinking of ways to save time. I’m the type of person who enjoys the trip. My personal philosophy is that we have so little time on this Earth, why shorten it? Enjoy everything you do, don’t waste time worrying, because that’s still wasting time. You’ll get there when you get there.

As a man, I guess I don’t understand women when they talk about a patriarchal society. I feel that men and women can live, love and pursue however, whoever, and whatever they damn well please. We have a black president for chrissakes, and a woman was his primary competitor! Dammit if we don’t live in a world where there is somewhere you can be happy, and someone you can be happy with.

Believe it or not, I’m actually a conservative. I believe in due process, and the second amendment, yet I’m pro-choice. I think that anyone can pull themselves from the muk and become someone of value, to their family, their country or the whole world! Yet I think that they should be able to accomplish any goal they have legally. Nothing is impossible and you should never surrender! But I digress, to get back on topic…

I don’t proclaim to understand women, and I probably never will. Some things, women are better at, some things men can accomplish more competently, and still there is a place for everyone. All I’m saying is men and women don’t understand each other, and we need to. We all have to live together, and if we all try to understand others, and tolerate them, and work with them, we’ll become so much more than we are.

New relationships could be made simply by breaking humans down to their barest instincts. Barest being our three primary goals in life; staying alive, staying fed, and procreating. We all have rationalized these things, but still they linger at the core of our being, and still behavioral analysts use them to profile us as individuals, even though they are common to all humans.

Women: We don’t get you, tell us what you want! We won’t laugh, we try hard and work hard to keep you happy, if you think we’ve forgotten remind us! We aren’t perfect, and we aren’t mind readers. We will never forget you, what you’ve done for/to us. Ever. If you don’t believe us, leave for a week. It’ll seem like you’ve been gone for years when you get back.

Damn… I need a scotch.