Monthly Archives: March 2011

So Let’s Pretend For a Moment

… That I haven’t lost a lot in my life. That my parents haven’t split, that my breakups weren’t all disasters, that my cars haven’t all been disasters, that I haven’t been working the same minimum wage job for 3 years on the edge of getting fired and that my mind isn’t a briarpatch of hatred for all those things surrounding a frightened child who just wants to get the things he loves back, but everytime he ventures into the thorns he gets hurt…

Let’s pretend that isn’t the case. Let’s pretend this last relationship meant as much to me as it did to her (which was apparently not much), wouldn’t I still be depressed, that I’m again (still) single and feel like I wasted my time every night that I tried to stand by her and stay with her?

Maybe this is just an angry rant today with no basis in anything, but I miss her. Not my big ex. God no. She’s been further and further from that little boy, in fact she’s on an island with a bunch of other bitches out past the horizons of his vision.

The one I miss now is the girl who’s been occupying that little boy for some time now. While walking around the various natural paths in the briarpatch, the young boy, came upon a young girl. She seemed to be wandering as he was! He stopped and said hello. She returned the favor and they began to get to know each other. They walked around showing each other the trails. The boy even had to help the girl fend off the shadows in her own mind on occasion.

The Boy and girl became good friends. The boy worked hard to make sure they girl was enjoying herself, that she was happy. The girl smiled and hugged the boy. Sometimes even kissed him.

The boy and the girl navigated the briarpatch and the boy never once complained. Until he met some of his friends, and the girl found one of them to be more interesting and left the boy in the briarpatch… Without a word.

I miss this girl, but I can’t say anything to her… She doesn’t seem to care about me, my feelings or any of the things I did for her… Which to me hurts more than anything. Apathy sucks.

Girl: “I’ll be around for a while”
Boy: “until someone better comes along or you get bored?”
Girl: :(… No…

…Guess someone better came along.

The Briar Patch

Still hackin’ my way through it. Seems like it’ll never end sometimes. I hope I get through it.